Several years ago, as I was leaving the hospital, a friend asked, “When did we get old?” Yikes! “Speak for yourself, kemosabe. I didn’t realize we were old.” The truth is, we are aging from the moment we are born. When we are young, it is exciting, right? I am 5 1/2, 13, 18, 21, and all the milestones are celebrated. But at some point, aging becomes the elephant in the room that no one wants to acknowledge. We have more years behind us than before us. This realization is an emotional bucket of cold water. Time is running out.
Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” God designed us to grow old, BUT not to stop growing. Psalm 92:14 adds, “They will still bear fruit in their old age. They will be full of sap and very green.” This is our challenge: To finish life’s race strong—and with purpose.
Reflecting on aging, I see three essential stages: Grief, Grit, and Grace. We move in and out of these phases throughout life. Each new milestone is met with mixed feelings of sadness and excitement as we move into adulthood, leaving home for college or leaving single life for married life.
But as we mature, grief intensifies with the loss of parents, siblings, spouses, and friends. Death is the most obvious loss. But other losses occur as well. Your close friends or children move away. Your loved ones may lose cognitive or physical skills, making it difficult for them to communicate with you. And then there are the losses of our own abilities as they decline. Perhaps you are no longer needed by your employer, children, or church. These are real losses; it is appropriate to experience deep sadness over them. Feelings of isolation, irrelevance, and being invisible may enter your thoughts.
The grief stage is probably the most difficult to move on from. The challenge is to acknowledge and grieve the loss without getting stuck in it. I love this quote from John Piper: “Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. TRUST GOD. And embrace the life you have.”
It’s not easy. It takes GRIT, fortitude, and perseverance to keep moving forward. So, how do we develop it?
First: Relationships and community. Relationships that are cultivated and nurtured will provide us with comfort and companionship as we go through our senior years, especially in the difficult seasons of life. I call this our “people pension,” and it is crucial as we age.
Second: Be willing to expand or exchange your purpose. Continue to serve as you use your talents and life experience to bless others. The way you serve may change as you age. Perhaps today you serve by leading the women’s ministry or teaching a Bible Study. But next year, your service will be to send a card or make a phone call to encourage someone. What is crucial is understanding that one type of service is no more important than the other. It is your willingness to serve.
God does not waste anything. But we run the risk of wasting so much when we get stuck in the past, the grief, the pain, in the refusal to let go and open our hearts to something new.
My friend Doris lived in a senior facility. She realized her interactions with others were only meals and planned activities, nice but unfulfilling. So, she began inviting 4-6 people to her apartment once a month. She kept it simple: tea, a treat, and talk. The purpose was to share stories from their lives with each other. Sharing stories helped everyone feel “known, loved, and less isolated.”
Third, and most important, is your “spiritual pension.” Are you continuing to grow in your faith? Or are you becoming complacent and bored in your walk with the Lord? It is important to strengthen your spiritual core. As your physical abilities change, your spiritual growth can continue to grow as you sit in God’s presence to rest, refuel, and restore. Soak up His Word. Pray. In the Gospel of John, chapters 13-17, Jesus shares his final thoughts with his disciples and us. He reminds us to serve with humility. He promises us the Holy Spirit and His peace. He implores us to remain or abide in Him, our source of nourishment. He tells us there will be trouble in this world. But promises that He has overcome the world. Finally, Jesus prays that we be in Him, so that we can be one as He and the Father are one. He asked the Father to protect us, keep us from the evil one, and sanctify us by the truth of the Word.
This is how we produce good fruit as we age—by remaining in Him. And then, as opportunities arise, share what we learn with others. We will be more prepared for life changes and loss.
God is not finished with you, so don’t be finished with yourself. Remember when the Israelites approached the promised land? The Lord said to Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” This is God’s message for us as well. He wants us to be spiritually strong and courageous as we prepare for our promised land of eternity.
And this is the GRACE: God will complete His work in us as we remain in HIM. God wants us to finish strong. We want to finish strong. But it takes a series of intentional choices to build the spiritual and emotional muscles needed as we age. This doesn’t mean we don’t grieve with each loss; it means we acknowledge the loss, give ourselves time to grieve, but move forward with GRIT, empowered by the Holy Spirit, learning to thank God for what we had and what we have rather than focusing on what we have lost. Grace grows in grateful hearts.
Blessings,
Personal Parables Practices
- How will you intentionally increase your people pension?
- How will you exchange or expand your purpose as you serve others?
- What will you do to grow spiritually as you thank God for what you do have and what you can do?
Pray with Me
Today, Lord, I give you thanks for the promise of Your presence at all times and in all circumstances. Even when my body fails me, You do not. Your loving-kindness is new every morning. Lord, I have never been this age before. Help me keep my eyes and heart on you. I want to finish well. Amen.
Scripture for Meditation
John 14:27 NIV – Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Philippians 1:6 NASB 95 – For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 46:4 NIV – Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.
Music for Reflection
Update: Thank you to a reader who suggested this next song. It fits well with the theme of this post!
“God is not finished with you, so don’t be finished with yourself.” Amen!! This is life-giving Dyann! I love how you remind us of our continued worth and value – it’s true! ❤️
Oh goodness! How true and valid. Acknowledge the loss. Take time to grieve. Then move on. It’s so important to be involved in meaningful endeavors at any age. We are never too old to be of value and helpful to others. Thank you for these meaningful words!!
Thank you, Bonnie, you are an example of moving on in grace and ministering to others. See you very soon. Blessings, D
Excellent post, Dyann. I cringe when people my age – or close to it – decry being “old.” I, too, want to say “Speak for yourself, please!” Life can be full and meaningful whatever season we are in. One of my favorite songs is called “Grit and Grace” by Balsam Range. You can probably find it on YouTube. Thanks for this today – you’re singing my tune!
Thank you Maggie. I appreciate your continued support. I am looking up that song today and may switch out the music on my post. God is so good and the older I get the more I realize His goodness, grace and plans for us to finish spiritually strong. Have a blessed day. I love that we are singing the same tune.