Where Have All My Mentors Gone?

Do you have a mentor? Most of my life, there has been at least one woman whom I looked up to, followed their lead, or could go to with a dilemma. There was always an older woman in my life to guide me and serve as an example as I grew in my faith. But they are all gone now, safe in the arms of Jesus.  Recently, I found myself crying. I miss them. I miss them terribly. I was reading a lovely devotional by Maggie Wallem Rowe, “This Life We Share.” She was writing about one of her mentors. I was surprised at the emotions her words triggered in my heart and spirit. It’s funny how another person’s thoughts can bring to the forefront something you haven’t realized you were grieving the loss of.  I think it is God’s gentle way of reminding us of those we love at a time when we can process the loss appropriately.

I was always sad that my mother and I did not have a close relationship.  I have no sisters. I confess I am jealous of friends whose mother or sister was their best friend and confidant. Sometimes ask myself, “Was it my fault?” that my mother and I were not close. I don’t know. I think my mother had needs that I couldn’t fulfill as a daughter. What always comforts me is that God fills in the gap. Through each stage of my life, He provided a special woman older than me to look up to. The reality, of course, is that at some point, there are few women older than me, and thus the sorrow of the void.

The Godly Women Who Came Before

Today in my sorrow, I can praise God for the women who came before me, mentored me, and are now with our Lord. I regret, however, that I didn’t write each of them a letter thanking them for the time they invested in loving kindness, holy example, and wise guidance. I looked forward to just being in their presence.  My maternal grandmotherwas my first mentor. She was a gentle, quiet, but steady soul. She brought a sense of stability to my chaotic childhood. Edwina was my sister-in-law, 20 years my senior. She had so much joy. She could find humor in everything, including stepping out of a car into the mud while wearing her beautiful white suit.  She faced challenges like the rest of us, but her faith and perseverance prevailed. The joy of the Lord was her strength. Dotty was the other woman I depended on. She was the wife of my first boss in Los Angeles. I was a Christian hippy-looking girl with long hair and peasant dresses, and I was very shy.  She seemed to love me from the start. Always had time for me, even though she had four children and taught a Bible study for 50 years with 400 women attending.  She exuded southern hospitality. The door was always open.  The backdoor was used, as no one used the front unless they didn’t know the family.  She made Chocolate Yum-Yum cake (aka Texas sheet cake).  We sat for hours, talking over coffee and cake in her garden. Along with my grandmother, and Edwina, Dotty was the woman I wanted to be: gracious, loving, filled with God’s spirit.  When she passed away, hundreds came from all over the country to attend her funeral. Many are well-known in Christian circles. It was only then that I realized the totality of her influence and what a gift of presence she gave me without ever making me feel that I was taking up her valuable time.  We had plans for lunch on Friday. She died on Monday at 91. I was devastated. I didn’t get to say goodbye.

Giving Thanks to the Mentors

There comes a point when you realize you are the one who needs to mentor, even if you think you’re not ready. It is similar to the feeling of being at the top of the family totem pole if both your parents are deceased and you are the oldest child, which I am. It’s lonely up here with no one ahead to look up to. Ah, but there is—it’s Jesus. I forgot this. He is the perfect mentor. And He always has time.

Whose is your mentor? If they are still living, I encourage you to bless them with a heartfelt letter (not an email or text) that lets them know how much you appreciate them, how they have impacted your life, and what you have learned from them. Splurge a little and write your thanks on a beautiful piece of stationery. They are worth it. Remember, it is never too late to say thank you.

Blessings,

Personal Parables Practices

• Who has God brought to your mind today that has mentored you in some way?
• Have you considered writing them a personal note of thanks?
• Will you open your heart and give of your time to mentor another who can learn from you?

Join Me in Prayer

Today, Lord, I give you thanks for each person you placed in my life to guide and mentor me in my Christian Walk. You provided them at crucial times in my life. Remind me, when my human heart aches for them, that you are the perfect provision. You are my ultimate mentor who lives eternally. You are worthy of all my praise. Amen.

Scripture for Meditation

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV – Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing.

Titus 2:3-4 NIV – Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.

John 13:13-15 NIV – You call me “Teacher” and “Lord,” and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

Music for Reflection

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